The London Drinker Beer & Cider Festival (March 16-18) does not have penis emblems.

You can decide whether or not it's worth adding this event to your springtime beer drinkage.

"It does, however, have such quality quaffs as Acorn South Yorkshire Barnsley Gold, Blanchfield Raging Bull, and Daleside North Yorkshire Shrimpers Bitter. For those of you who are familiar only with the warm, stale beer of college fame, a London drinker will be waiting to indoctrinate you into the ways of British ales. A special feminine line of drinks is also an option, with gentler names: Fine Soft Day, Gold, Raspberry Wheat and Lemon Dream, among others."

On the other hand, I'm not quite sure I need to be "indoctrinated" by a London drinker...